There are some people in the world that are are trying to say that I am not a good mom. Matter of fact they think that when I am trying to what is best is really harming my child, enough so to charge me with neglect of my children. Thier sole purpose to  gain custody of my kids bcause they think they could do better and don't see and don't want to see the issue the child has. I think is sad, really to put your own self before the welfare of the children. Why hurt a child that needs help, why enable a child that needs help,  because they don't think that the mother who has finally come to grips that her child needs the help,  is wrong. Maybe, I am trying everything I know. Maybe this is hard on me. Maybe they are being selfish, and they need to forgive  themselves for their past mistakes and , and realize that this isn't their child that we are dealing with. This is my child, whom is very different.  I will fight for my child, I will fight for what is the right  thing for my child.  They need to give me a chance. Work with me, not against me. I tried to do it their way, but a court battle, trying to put me in jail,  and saying that I neglect my children is wrong. It is the wrong move for the kids, and everyone involed. I will prove that their. charges are completely unfounded. I am a strong woman. They will not beat me down. I fought for my children for 7yrs, and never gave up, and I will not give up this time.

Remember.......Love Never Fails!!!!

I wouldn't be the woman I am today, without every thing I have gone through in my past. I have become s stronger, better woman because of it. When kids at school made fun of me or called me names, I learned  to build up tolerance of others. When I didn't have the coolest, name brand clothes, I learned to create my own style, and develope my own personality. Everytime I got dumped by a boyfriend, I learned what I liked and didn't like in a guy. When I took certain classes in school, I learned more about what I was good at in life, and what just wasn't my forte. When I married an abusive husband, I learned what a marraige was not supposed to be,and what love is not. When I chose to pick up that first drug, I learned what years of drug abuse can do to your life. When I place my children with my sister, I learned the heartbreak that only a mother can feel. When, I lost friends. I learned what it was like to be alone. When my family distanced themselves from me, I felt  isolated. When I left My husband , I felt free. When I reunited with family, I felt loved again. When I put the drugs down, I felt liberated. When I met my boy friend of 5yrs now, I finally new true love. When I reuinted with my children, I felt whole.  So it may take a bulldozer to tear you down, but each time you go through something hard, or painful,someone is throwing another brick, and you learn something from it. Don't let tose bricks go to waste. Use them, build your self up, get up from the gutter, use your strength, and build that foundation  you need to have a sucessful life. And remember ....Love never fails!

Another part ofmy life I don't get into much is the physical violence that went on during my marraige to my childrens father. Evertime I hear the songs "Love the Way You Lie", by Eminem & Rhianna, I describes exactly what I went through. It describes, the cyle of abuse, and why it so hard for many woman to leave. I am just fortunate that I got away before my end was death. Many woman don't leave unless it is in a body bag, and that is a sad fact. We need to be talking about this more. We need to be in peoples bussiness more. If my neighbors had stepped in more, I may have gotten away before I did. If you are involved in a domestic violence situation...GET OUT NOW!!!
Love the Way You Lie Pt.1

  gonna stand there and watch me burn

  that's alright because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand
  there and hear me cry

Well, that's alright because I love the way you 

I love the way you

I  can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you
what it feels  like
And right now there's a steel knife in my 
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can 
As long as the wrong 
feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off of love, drunk from my 
It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love it, the more I 
I suffocate and right before I'm about to drown, she 
resuscitates me
She fuckin' hates me, and I love it
Wait, where you going? I'm leaving you, no, you 
Come back, we're running right back, here we go 
It's so insane, 'cause when it's going good, it's going 
I'm Superman with the wind at his

She's  Lois Lane but when it's bad, it's awful, I feel so
I snap, "Who's  that dude?", I don't even know his
I laid hands on her, I never stoop so  low
I guess I don't know my own strength
Just gonna stand there and watch me
burnWell that's alright because I
like the  way it hurtsJust gonna
stand there  and hear me cryWell,
that's  alright because I love the way you lieI
  love the way you lieI love the
way  you lie
You ever love somebody so much, you could barely breathe 
when you with 'em?
You meet, and neither one of you even know it hit 
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah, them chills, used to 
get 'em
Now you're gettin' fuckin' sick of lookin' at 

You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 
Now you're in each others face spewing venom in your words
  when you spit 'em
You push, pull each others hair, scratch, claw, bit 
Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when 
you're in 'em

It's the race that took over, it controls you 
So they say you'd best to go your separate ways, guess 
that they don't know ya
'Cause today, that was yesterday, 
yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing 

But you promised her, next time you'd show 
You don't get another chance, life is no Nintendo 
But you lied again, now you get to watch her leave out the
Guess that's why they call it "window

Just gonna stand
there and watch me  burnWell
that's alright because I  like the way it hurtsJust
gonna  stand there and hear me cryWell  that's alright because I love the way you
lieI  love the way you
lieI love the way  you
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't 
And we fall back into the same patterns, same 
But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same 
as me
But when it comes to love, you're just as 

Baby, please come back, it wasn't you, baby, it was 
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it 
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a 
All I know is I love you too much to walk away 

Come inside, pick up your bags off the 
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I 
Told you this is my fault, look me in the 
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the 

Next time? There won't be no next time
apologize, even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games, I just want her 
back, I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fuckin' leave 
again, I'ma tie her to the bed
And set this 
house on fire

Just gonna 
stand there and watch me burnWell 
that's alright because I like the way it hurtsJust
  gonna stand there and hear me cryWell
  that's alright because I love the way you lieI
  love the way you lieI love 
the way you lie

Read more: EMINEM
from MetroLyrics.com

Love the Way You Lie Pt.2

On the first page of our story 
future seemed so bright 
Then this thing
turned out so evil 
I don't know
why I'm still surprised 
Even angels have their wicked schemes
And you take
that to new extremes 
But you'll always be my
Even though you've lost your

gonna stand there and watch me burn 
that's all right because I like the way it hurts 
gonna stand there and hear me cry 
But that's
all right because I Love
the way you lie 
I love the way
you lie 
Ohhh, I love the way you lie 

[Rihanna's Part 2] 
there's gravel in our voices 
Glass is
shattered from the fight 
In this
tug of war, you'll always win 
Even when I'm
'Cause you feed me fables
from your hand 
With violent words and empty
And it's sick that all
these battles 
Are what keeps me satisfied 

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn 
But that's all right because I like the way it
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry 

But that's all right because I
love the way you lie 
I love the way you lie 

Ohhh, I love the way you lie 

[Rihanna's Part 3] 
maybe I'm a masochist 
I try to
run but I don't wanna ever leave  

 Til the walls are goin' up 
In smoke with all our memories 

[Eminem's Part] 

This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your
Smeared makeup as we lay in
the wake of destruction 
Hush baby, speak
softly, tell me your awfully sorry 
you pushed me into the coffee table last night 
I can push you off me 
Try and
touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me 
out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy 
without you, I'm nothing, I'm so lost, hug me 
Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me 

Then after that, shove me, in the
aftermath of the 
Destructive path that we're
on, two psychopaths but we 
that no matter how many knives we put in each other's backs 
That we'll have each other's backs, 'cause we're that lucky 

Together, we move mountains, let's
not make mountains out of molehills,  
You hit
me twice, yeah, but who's countin'' 
may have hit you three times, I'm startin' to lose count 
But together, we'll live forever, we found the youth fountain 

Our love is crazy, we're nuts, but
I refused counsellin' 
This house is too huge,
if you move out I'll burn all two thousand 
feet of it to the ground, ain't shit you can do about it 
With you I'm in my f-ckin' mind, without you, I'm out it 

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn 
But that's all right because I like the way it
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry 

But that's all right because I
love the way you lie 
I love the way you lie 

Ohhh, I love the way you lie 

Love the way you lie 

[ Love The Way You Lie Part 2 lyrics


For many centuries all siblings have had a rivalry with one another. Brothers picking on sisters, grossing them out, and tattling on them. Sisters are always trying to out do the other at what ever it is they are doing. My sister and I have been doing it for years. Even though I am the oldest I still feel the need to try and out do her some times. We no longer have that close best friend relationship we use to have, instead I feel we have a competion, and I don't like it at all.
Now watching my two children, they are doing the same thing, just at a much earlier age. Did my sister and I teach this to them?  Or is this different? I hate when they fight constantly, and tell each other that they wish they were an only child, and that they hate each other. I wish that they could see how precious  having each other is, and they are hurting a lifetime bond. Or am I going overboard here? Should I let them fight it out, and at the end of the day everything will be okay. I'm still so new to all this, that some times I just go blank. Afraid to ask for help, because I will feel like a failure as a parent, and afraid someone will take them away form me again. I wanrt to be a super mom, and have all the answers, and know how to do it all perfectly. I watch the "traditional moms" out there and feel like "WOW, they have got all together".  Or are they just like me, feeling there way through this, and have no clue either? I may not have the answers, but what I do know is....... Love Never Fails!