Christmas in my family has always been a big deal, at least for me it is. It starts with the putting up of the Christmas decorations, to the day we put the ornaments on the tree. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all rolled into one huge family celebration. My favorite parts were cooking together,playing games together,and the just spend time with each other part. I loved being part of a family. For me the holidays seem to make all other problems go away.
So this year, it is time for me to start my own things for my kids. This will be the first Christmas, and Thanksgiving we have spent together as a family with Mike and Harlee. I so excited about it, I am decorating everything on Monday and Tuesday...except the Christmas tree. The tree is saved for Bailey's birthday, just a few weeks before Christmas.
I previously wrote about finances were getting me down about Holiday time. Then my sister reminded me, it is not all about what the kids get for Christmas, it is about how they enjoy the time. I can't tell you now a single gift I recieved on a particular year, but I can tell you the traditions we had every year. That iswhat I want them to reflect on.  So big thanks to my little sis, for reminding me that I don't have to go all out to make it a Christmas to remember. And remember Love Never Fails.

Picture: myself, sister, step brother when I was 13yrs old on Christmas morning. We got matching PJ's they even had the butt traps in them.

I have always loved this time of year, when the leaves turn, the weather starts to turn cooler, and all the holidays start to approach us. This year will be the first year I get to have mychildren with me for all of it. Taking my son trick-or -treating, planning out where to have Thanksgiving Dinner, and them my favorite part Christmas. I love decorating for Christmas. If I could do it today I would!!  This year it is also bitter sweet. I get have everyone I want around me, but have no money do what I want.  I have been fighting for my disiabilty since March, and have come to a point that we almost can not make it anymore. I an terrified to go back to work, I don't know if I can do it. At home,  I am in a stress free environment, and I can do things at my own pace. So my seizures have been few and far between the last couple of months. But what if I go back to work, and they come back. Then I have strart this disability thing all over. If I don't go to work, I don't know  how to pay for the bills , much less buy Christmas presents. You see, my boyfriends overtime at work, that he was gettting regularly, has been cut out along with some other finactial burdens we have occured. My chilren are use to a big almost over the top Christmas, and I  have been trying to find a way to do something for them. There is a program through my local Salvation Army that I believe will help out.  I just hope that I can find a job, that I can do before Christmas, so I can give them the the Christmas I have always wanted to do.
I know God will lead me cause...."Love never fails."