I still carry negative feelings towards my exhusband. I can't let go and forgive him for all that has happened in the past. I try, and try, but it is so hard for me. I don't think that he gets how much he hurt me. I want to punish him and hurt him as much as he has hurt me, but I know that there is no possible way to do that. Sometimes I think, maybe he does know the pain he has caused, but I doubt that. There has now come a point in my life that I can no longer worry about what he has done to me, and worry about the two children that we gave life to.
There has been a disconnect between him and the kids for over 6yrs now, he hasn't seen them, except maybe in pictures. I'm not sure if he has talked to them,and I wonder is this fair to the kids. All kids need a father in their life, and if he is willing to stand up, take responsiblity, pay his dues, then he should be able to be apart of the kids lives. Now in my family, others may say different, but that is a story for a different day.
I believe that I can put aside all my hurt, anger, and bitterness so that my kids can have a chance with their dad. I just hope and pray that I am making the right decision, and that thier dad will do right by them, so they can have healthy relationships from this day forth. This process may be a slow one for all involved, a one day at a time kind of thing, but I think it can work. As long as we keep God in our hearts, and walk with faith "Love never fails." 

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