For years I have strugggled with my self esteem, and body image. In high school I was the tall skinny girl, no boobs, and messed up teeth. I was picked on and I hated how I looked and I would try to cover up. There was a short period of time after high school that I filled out a little, and I thought I looked good, but I based that on how many guys I could get. That's when my self esteem took an ugly turn, I married my ex-husband, and he beat what what confidence I had left out of me. Two children later I gained almost 100lbs. I struggle today with my self esteem. I don't look..I mean really look in the mirror at my self. I throw on what ever clothes that I can. Most days I don't even care if they match. Sexy, beautiful, confidant, even cute, aren't word I would use to describe myself. I have a hard time accepting compliments, and wish sometimes I would get one when I try. Really the only thing I like about myself is my hair, and most days I pull it up so no one see's how well I take care of it. That's because I'm ashamed of the few gray hairs I have.
I'm being honest about all of this because I'm not the only one who feels this way. There are lots of women who feel the exact same way. We laugh about being fat, make jokes at ourselves, others poke fun at us, and deep down inside we are crying. Sometimes we are crying out loud. I know I do!
I want to be the most beautiful woman for my boyfriend. I don't want to be afraid to wear lingerie. I don't want to be afraid to have my picture taken. I want to be able to wear the cute clothes. I want to feel good in my own skin. I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see.
I want to be able to love myself again. "Love Never Fails"