So over the last few weeks, my voice has been silent all over the world wide web. I believe by devine intervention. Just as things were heating up in my personal life and going chaotic, was told by many to stay off the computer, it was only adding fuel to the fire. My physical temptaions kept leading back to this addicting machine. then one morning my computer seemed to crash. It would not work for anything. I ran out of minutes on my prepaid cell phone, so no Facebook for me. I basically lost all my addicting technology, eccept my TV, and face it, there is nothing good on there anymore.
I have used the time to actually talk to people. Yes, the spoken word, and I was forced to listen, and think about was being said, and ingest it. I took the time to look inside myself, and ask those hard qusetions of my self. With all that time, and thinking and advice, I believe I came up with the right decisions for my life, my children, and everyone around me. For me all I want is happiness, love, and well being for all.
My suggestion to all is that when you are going through a rough time, turn off the technology, get away from it all. For me it was done for me. Then when I decided to forgive, make amends, and work through it peacefully like a miracle my computer started working again like nothing happened. So I want to say thank you to God for my little miracle of shutting down my technology. Remember God said "Love never fails."
I consider myself to be many things, a mom, a Christian, a daughter, a sister, aunt, granddaughter, homemaker, fiance, friend, and the list could go on forever. I am not perfect at anyof them. I make mistakes some times, we all do. The best I can do is repent, make amends, and try to rectify the situation in the best intrest for everyone involved. I lean on my Chrstianity a lot. I may not go to church, and belong to an organized religion, but that does not mean that I haven't read my Bible time and time again. That I don't pray and go to God for my troubles, and seek him out for all the answers. I also seek the councel of those who have more experience in life than I do. I ask for their wisdom, their support to get me through the rough times. I remember the teachings of the 12 step program that was taught to me in the Narcotics Anonymous program. I will never be perfect , someone will always find fault with me. On that day I will remind them that they are not perfect, everyone carries around baggage. There was one peerfect person who walked this earth, and that was Jesus Christ. I will stive to walk in His image until the day I die. I will always remember the words of God in 1 Corinthinthians 13:8 " Love never fails."
There are some people in the world that are are trying to say that I am not a good mom. Matter of fact they think that when I am trying to what is best is really harming my child, enough so to charge me with neglect of my children. Thier sole purpose to gain custody of my kids bcause they think they could do better and don't see and don't want to see the issue the child has. I think is sad, really to put your own self before the welfare of the children. Why hurt a child that needs help, why enable a child that needs help, because they don't think that the mother who has finally come to grips that her child needs the help, is wrong. Maybe, I am trying everything I know. Maybe this is hard on me. Maybe they are being selfish, and they need to forgive themselves for their past mistakes and , and realize that this isn't their child that we are dealing with. This is my child, whom is very different. I will fight for my child, I will fight for what is the right thing for my child. They need to give me a chance. Work with me, not against me. I tried to do it their way, but a court battle, trying to put me in jail, and saying that I neglect my children is wrong. It is the wrong move for the kids, and everyone involed. I will prove that their. charges are completely unfounded. I am a strong woman. They will not beat me down. I fought for my children for 7yrs, and never gave up, and I will not give up this time.
Remember.......Love Never Fails!!!!